“That’s a dangerous prayer…” she hesitated, glancing at me as we walked the St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Route through Central Park during the National Eucharistic Pilgrimage a little over a year ago.
The day was long—nine hours of walking, praying, adoring—Jesus in the streets with His followers. Along the way, conversations ebbed and flowed, weaving together faith, life, and the simplicity of how hot it was on the streets of New York City.
I’d just shared with her an abrupt change in my prayer life a few months earlier.
I had found myself in a place and point in my life where I was completely powerless. There were circumstances arising that were threatening to crush me, and there seemed to be little I could do to stop it.
Except pray.
That, of course, was my first mistake.
For every time I’ve remembered it, I’ve forgotten it twice over: prayer isn’t the last resort, it’s the most powerful response we have to anything. Because Love Incarnate always knows the way, regardless of circumstance.
But in that moment, my heart didn’t remember it.
It’s funny how often we need something disastrous to face us to REALLY turn to God with our whole heart, strength and soul.
Not funny actually…unfortunate.
But as the storm clouds of doom rolled in, one morning, well before sunrise, a prayer welled up that I’d never prayed before. Not long, not elaborate, but raw. And it stuck. I’ve prayed it every morning since, before I even lift my head from the pillow…
“Lord, I surrender everything I have, everything You’ve given me, to You. I pray that my every thought, word, and action are Yours. Take it all. Thank You for the gift of life, Your love, and Your mercy. Your Will be done”
And I meant it.
I was done thinking I knew what was best.
I was done following my will.
And it may have been the single best thing that’s ever happened to me.
Who knew.
Life didn’t change all that much. But I did.
I found peace…His Peace.
I encountered Joy…His Joy
And confidence. Not in me and my bungling efforts to run the show.
But in His.
I discovered trust. Concrete trust. That the Author of Life, who created you and me and loves us beyond comprehension, truly knows us—and knows better than we ever could. His plan is the perfect plan for our fulfillment, our purpose, and our salvation.
So yes, I understand why she called it a “dangerous prayer.” We all have our dreams, our desires, our likes and dislikes. And “surrender” seems like we’re giving something up, or feels like we’re sacrificing something.
But in reality, when we choose our will it’s like clinging to a rope, knuckles white, holding on for dear life, thinking that if we let go, we’ll fall into the chasm—while an inch beneath us lies the Foundation of the Universe and if we just let go, we’d land on eternally solid ground and finally stand in peace and joy.
We don’t give it all away in surrender, we open ourselves to receive the life we were created to live. And we receive more than we ever knew to ask for.
We receive Him, and He embraces us.
A Dangerous prayer? Not in the least.
Scary? It shouldn’t be…
But adventurous?
100%.
And what’s life without adventure, especially when you’re walking it with Him.
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Hugs to you, dear friend.